After I roaring start, I've been slacking lately. I have read (but not reviewed) a few more books...the rest of the Hunger Games trilogy (Catching Fire and Mockingjay) and Chamber of Secrets. I know I read one more serialized book in there somewhere, but it's escaping me, so I'll have to add it later. I'd like to pretend I will review these all later, but considering my progress up to date, I'm gonna go ahead and doubt it. Anyway...reading Prisoner of Azkaban now. Look forward to not seeing my review for it here later!

4) The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins

It's taking everything in me to not write "OHMIGAH, it was SOOOO good!!" and call it a day, so bear with me.

In the far-off dystopian future, North America has been ravaged by some unnamed society-destroying means. America is split into 13 districts and an autocratic Capitol that rules with an iron fist. After a failed rebellion, the 13th district is wiped out. In an attempt to shame the remaining 12 districts and further demonstrate their power, each district is forced to send two teenagers, a girl and a boy between the ages of 12-18, to fight to the death gladiator style in the annual live televised Hunger Games.

*mild spoilers ahead*
The story follows a 15-year old girl named Katniss who lives in the poverty ridden District 12. Katniss spends her days hunting illegally to provide food for her mother and 12-year old sister, Prim. The book takes off almost immediately, beginning with the annual reaping in which the teenagers are chosen randomly in a lottery. Katniss has her name thrown in multiple times in order to trade for supplies for her family. Prim, who at age 12 only has her name thrown in once, is chosen for the games. Katniss immediately volunteers to go in her place.

I read this book yesterday and I haven't shut up about it. It's technically a young adult novel, so the 384 pages are a pretty quick read. The story itself is pretty fast-paced and thrilling. There is some romance, but it is minimal for now, as the story is all about Katniss's remarkable mental strenghth and ability to survive. I read it at work and ended up staying an hour late to finish it. Highly recommended.

(Oh, and my take on the Hailee Steinfield casting rumor...she's a little young for it, but I'm sure she could pull it off beautifully. I, for one, would rather see a newcomer. I just hope it's PG-13 rating allows for the movie to be as dark as it should be.)

Off the read the second book...

In an attempt to not go crazy on this insanely busy work day (it's taken me almost 2 hours to write this post), I present to you...

Books I've read so far for Cannonball Read!

1) Anita Blake Series, Book 9, Obsidian Butterfly - Laurell K. Hamilton

Mini-review because these books are reeeeally long, there's waaaay too much backstory, and there's no way I can sum them up. This book takes my favorite character, Edward, and sends Anita on a trip with him. It's awesome. Which is good because...

2) Anita Blake Series, Book 10, Narcissus in Chains - Laurell K. Hamilton

It's apparently the last good book of the series. My sister warned me several times that right around this point, the books become extremely sexual. Check it...Anita was a virgin til Book 6, has sex with her other boyfriend in Book 8, then becomes a giant ho in Book 10. By Book 11, which I'm currently rolling my eyes through, she's a great big whorebag succubus thing. It's getting insanely boring, and I'm not sure if I'll finish the series.

3) Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone - JK Rowling

Everytime I told someone I was reading Harry Potter, it was always the same conversation..."Which one?" "The first one." "Oh, you're re-reading it?" "No, I'm reading it for the first time. I know, bout time, huh?" *Person gives me crazy eyes*

I never had any interest in reading the Harry Potter series. The more people tried to tell me that oh my god, I needed to read it, the less interest I had. I didn't see either of the first movies in the theater, either...holding out until I was being forced to go see the third movie. I saw the first two, was meh about both, then went to the theater and loved the third movie. Since then I've been a pretty consistent fan of the movies (loved the last one), and with a bevy of road trips in my recent (now) past, I decided to finally read them. Well, I got through one. And I loved it.

This book was charming as hell. The first 50 pages broke my heart with lines about how Harry wasn't scared of spiders because there were plenty in the cupboard he slept in and the continuous berating and abuse by the hands of his horrid leftover family. Then comes a letter...and another...and hundreds more...that is the onset for a heartwarming endearing story. I may more or less know what's going to happen through the next 6 books, but I can't wait to read it.

I still read!
Seriously. Just not like all of you fools. ANNND since Nicole left me off the Cannonball Read this year (f*ckin bitch!), it really just means I can read all I want to and not write any reviews. Which YAY, because if you people know me at all, you know I hate/suck at reviews. I can only write reviews about Twilight and Mein Kampf, apparently.

ANYWAY, so far I've read...
-The Stand by Stephen King
-Pet Semetary by Stephen King
-The Louisiana Vampire Sookie Stackhouse Novels, Books 1-6 (and I imagine I'll be done the other 3 within the next week...)

So really, I'm doing far better without the CR, thank you, NICOLE (f*ckin bitch)!

Please don't ask me why I'm half-censoring myself. I'm tired and sick and I'm all stream of consciousness here, so just shut it.

Saints are in the Superbowl. It's Mardi Gras. I'm going with my boooOOoooyfriend to Dallas the weekend after Mardi Gras. I just had to hang up on a parent because I was coughing so bad I couldn't speak. Things are good.

Cannonball Read, Book 13

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

I'm lazy, so I suggest heading over to Pajiba to read Sophia's Review here, as I feel exactly the same way about it: funny, touching, annoying end. Unlike most people, I love when films are based on novels I've read. It usually has no effect on my feelings on the novel itself. That being said, I'm extremely excited about Peter Jackson's "The Lovely Bones"...trailer here.

Cannonball Read, Book 12 (Is that all, really? God, I suck!)
Slam by Nick Hornby

I'm torn.
I love Hornby and everything he's written. I don't really know how not to love him. So, I'm gonna give him a pass for this one. I'll say (and hope) that he's attempting to dumb down his wit and humor for the younger crowd, as this is billed as a young adult novel.

Obligatory summary:
Sam is an implausibly immature 15-year old boy who has daily conversations with a Tony Hawk poster. The Tony Hawk poster talks back in snippets from his autobiography that usually just annoy both Sam and the reader. Sam meets a girl too pretty for him, falls in lust, has the sex, and knocks said girl up. The bulk of the book is basically Sam coming to terms with the pregnancy and trying to figure out how to deal with it.

Maybe saying that Sam is implausibly immature is naivete on my part. Maybe most 15-year olds really are this fucking stupid. It just didn't work for me. Most of the time, it seemed like Hornby was trying to write what it seemed like an adult trying to connect with a younger audience would write...rather than actually connecting.

I don't know. Apparently the book got pretty good reviews, so I'm probably being too harsh. Despite everything I've written here, I actually enjoyed reading the book. In retrospect, however, it's completely forgettable. I guess I just I expect better from Hornby.

i may be a slacker, but in truth, I never vowed to read 100 books in a year...I vowed 30. I know my limits. My boss and I vowed 30 together. I'm still reading the same 4 books, but somehow completely managed to finish 2 completely other books in the meantime. Those are...

Cannonball Read, Book 10
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

I love Oscar Wilde. I love his plays. I love reading about him and watching crappy Jude Law movies based on him. I also love Velvet Goldmine, which is influenced by Oscar Wilde.
Do you know those books that you love even though you've never read them? I feel this way about movies more, but I frickin loved this book...but never read it. I just imagined that one day I would read it and I would love it. Never needed to get around to it.
Did it live up to the hype I created for myself? Yes and no. At first I was a little disappointed. Everytime Harry spoke, I was completely captivated by the writing...but Dorian bored the shit out of me, and Basil was just too pathetic to care about.

Shit, my boss is rushing me out to go help setup for a party...like I care to actually review stuff anyway...

Cannonball Read, Book 11
The Hitchiker's Guide to the Universe by Douglas Adams

I'll reserve my opinion for when I read the other 4 books of the trilogy. I have to go to the cookout now, bitches.

I'm just doing ridiculously bad with the reading. I've started four books, and because I can't decide which of these four to read first, I've somehow managed to read zero.

I AM EXCITED about today. The band The Format got me through one of the hardest times last year, then broke up and broke my heart. Nate Ruess started another band called fun. I already had a plan to go to SXSW, but now that FUN IS GONNA BE THERE, it is on like Donkey Kong.
ALSO, tonight I'm going to drive to Slidell to see My Bloody Valentine in 3d. AWEsome.
Did I even mention the Moulin Rouge sing-along I'm attending in Austin next week? Work is shipping my ass there, and now I have fun to look forward to! AND fun to look forward to! Austin rules.

I still have 38 origami Samurai hats to make for my friend's Hornets bobblehead collection so I better stop wasting time with you lot.

Cannonball Read, Book 9

Mein Kampf by Can't remember his name right now...he's famous though.

Oh, Hitler. Silly, silly Hitler.

Mein Kampf is an "autobiography" that Hitler "wrote". I say "autobiography" because even in the very first paragraph in the very first chapter, he immediately starts in with his nationalist unification crap. Let me give you a tip, Adolf. Make us feel bad for you and then push your agenda...it doesn't work the other way around. I say "wrote" because the lazy motherfucker didn't write it at all...he dictated it to someone else.

So let's get to it.

Intro by Some Guy - Hitler was arrested wrongfully at a protest. This is why he was so angry.
(Um yeah, some guy, let's just ignore the fact that sources* say this "protest" was an armed coup in an attempt to overthrow the government.
*Wikipedia)

Chapter 1 - I am good at everything. I can sing, dance, and I am the best painter that ever lived. I knew when I was 12 that I was destined to be a painter. My father disagreed and wanted me to be a state official, so I rebelled by not doing a damn thing in school and never receiving my diploma. Dad dies. Mom dies.

Chapter 2 - I am a poor, homeless orphan. I apply to Vienna's Academy of Fine Arts and they say that I am "unfit" as an artist.

(I don't think he was that bad. See, pretty puppy.)

I knew now that I was destined to be an architect. Too bad you need to have finished grade school. Being poor and homeless made me realize that I know how to fix every one of Germany's sociopolitical problem: simply put, nationalizing. Oh, and I hate Jews. It is my Christian duty to do so.

Ch. 3 - Man should not publicly take part in politics until they are at least 30. At 35, I know all there is to know about politics. I went to the Austrian parliament and laughted at them. There should not be free elections because the people in power have to actually listen to the dumb easily manipulated people. Oh, not YOU, dear readers. I meant those other people. Also, "By the introduction of parliamentarianism, democracy produced an abortion of filth and fire." Don't ask me why I want to abort filth and fire. Those fuckers had it coming.

(I should point out that it is in this chapter that Hitler begins one of his best manipulation tactics used in Mein Kampf, in my opinion - rhetorical questions. Must we stand for this? Does anybody honestly believe this?)

This is getting long (like this fucking boring-ass book), and I'm not much of a reviewer, so...

The rest of the book - Blah blah blah Nazi party wah wah wah nationalism blah yay Aryans wah boo Jews with there stupid brown hair blah blah should feel appreciative that we even talk to them because it makes them cool by association blah blah. Eventually Germany will rule all. I hereby reinstate the German National Socialist Labour Party. Can I be Fuhrer now?

The End.

In all seriousness, some parts of the book are incredibly interesting in that What-the-fuck-Is-he-actually-serious kind of way, but mostly it's just angry rantings and ideas from a racist with an incredible ability to manipulate. He rambles. He is not interesting. He slams his ideas into your face over and over again until you're just fed up with arguing. Sadly, almost every plan and evil idea that Hitler had is alluded to in this book, but since it sold so poorly (I'm assuming because it sucked so royally), nobody paid attention. Just don't read it...not even out of curiousity. It's not worth it. Instead, see: World War II.

Oh, and just because I found it funny:

From Mein Kampf:

I find two very significant facts standing out clearly before my mind.
First, I became a nationalist.
Second, I learned to understand and grasp the true meaning of history.

From Twilight:

About three things i was absolutely positive:
First, edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him - and i didnt know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood
Third, i was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

So what have we learned here, folks? Similar writing style means Stephanie Meyer = Hitler.

Cannonball Read, Book 8
Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer

Oh, just shut it.

Okay. Here Goes.

Cannonball Read, Books 4, 5, 6, and 7

Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer

...not to mention the 'Twilight' movie...

ugh, just kill me now.

Shut up, shut up. I know.

My entire office has read the books. The day the movie opened, they all bought advanced tickets and went together as a group. My roommate tried to get me to read Twilight, but I stood firm that I wouldn't read them. The sad part is that it wasn't because I knew they were horrible. It was because I have a tendency to get sucked in to horrible things, and I knew this would be no exception.

I like to think I have good taste. 'The Godfather', Parts 1 & 2, are my favorite movies. 'The Wire' is, by far, the best show ever on television. Radiohead is the best band of my generation. That being said, I also have an unabashed love for 'Bring it On', 'The O.C.', and Rihanna. Even though I hate it, I watch 'The Hills' every week. You think it's the goth teens that these books are written for? Everyone I know who's read them (which is a lot more people than you would expect) is just like me - 20s, decent taste, gorgeous...you know, normal.

A week and a half ago, I went to Austin for work. This left me with plane rides and college fairs that left plenty of time for reading. I read the book and the magazine that I brought. Thursday, December 4th, I picked up Twilight at the airport for $7. I finished Breaking Dawn yesterday.

When I first started reading Twilight, I probably laughed out loud at 90% of the first 50 pages of the book. The woman italicizes random words. For instance, I noticed the word "get" is italicized randomly throughout the book, and in ways that don't make sense. "When you get to the store, could you get me some ice?" Awesome. She also follows sarcastic sentences up with lines such as 'Heavy sarcasm.' I guess we're too stupid to figure it out for ourselves.

As for the stellar writing, every other line is something along the lines of:

"I tried not to look at him..."

or

"He didn't even notice me..."

or

"I tried not to be aware of him, or at least I tried not to let him know that I was aware of him..."

or (my personal favorite which is uttered at least 20 times in this section of the book...)

"His eyes were dark."

There are entire chapters of each book that could've been left out. Let me be clear about this people...these books are not good.

That being said, after that first 50 pages, there was no going back for me.

I'm not gonna recap (hell, this is already long enough and you can read that anywhere else), but I will say this: Twilight is quick, easy, and entertaining, but it's nothing but romantic fluff. New Moon is significantly better and more interesting, but not really worth your time. Eclipse and Breaking Dawn both bring on massive amounts of the absurd, but still managed to keep me reading. Hell, there was even a point in Breaking Dawn when I gasped out loud at something, put the book down, then thought to myself, "Wait, wait. I think these books are actually good!" before I snapped out of it and kept reading.

The movie...well, the movie's crap. No shock there. I'll still buy it when it comes out on DVD.

In conclusion, I cannot, in good faith, recommend these books. Unless of course, you're like me, 20s, decent taste, gorgeous, and you know what you're getting into.

Now please excuse me while I go read my bootlegged, unfinished copy of 'Midnight Sun' ...It's from Edward's point of view...SQUEE!

just in case.
jim is inappropriate.

Because the girls did there 5 freebies, and I'm powerless to burgeoning trends, tada:


1) Christian Bale (can't he just be alllll of them?) - I have mounds of unwavering affection for this man. He can do no wrong. True story: My friend Laura and I made a fan website about him back in like 1996. Sadly, I just looked for it and Tripod took it down. Bastards. When I broke up with my ex, my boss took down the pictures of him out of my office while I was home packing and crying, and replaced them all with pictures of Christian.

Oh, Lawrie...

2) Gael Garcia Bernal - yummmmmmmm. yummmmmmmmmm. My coworker and I often send emails to each other with nothing but this picture full-sized and the work "BAM!" in the subject. It makes all the days better.

3) Scott Speedman - I started out hardcore Noel. I still love me some Scott Foley, but when Felicity starting falling head-over-heels again for Ben at the end of Season 1, I fell with her. My friend Laura (same Bale friend) and I used to rewind the kiss on the season finale when he jumps across the table over and over again. TMI?

4) Nathan Fillion - I don't know what it is about this man but everytime I see him on screen I just light up. I've watched Dr. Horrible a trillion times. On Firefly, he makes me swoon the whole time I'm watching it. Hell, even creepy Nathan Fillion on Buffy does it for me. I just mmmmmm.

5) Mos Def - Seriously, Mos Def is the only man I can look at a picture of and EVERY TIME, WITHOUT FAIL , I get physically turned on by it.

Honorable mention in case one of these guys does something to turn me off:

Jason Dohring - because he makes me melt and I miss Veronica Mars.

Cannonball Read, Book 3

Surivor - Chuck Paluhniuk

"There’s always the chance you could die right in the middle of your life story."

I've always considered myself a fan of Paluhniuk. The rub is that I haven't even read enough of him to call myself that. I read Fight Club 10 or so years ago, and Haunted and Rant when the both came out (2005 and 2007, respectively), and every time I read another, I love him a little bit more. So I've sort of made it my mission to go back and read all the ones I never got around to reading...like I'm doing with Vonnegut.

Survivor will not end up being my favorite Paluhniuk novel. It probably won't even merit inclusion in a best of Paluhniuk novels list. However, it is definitely worth the read, as it is a pretty entertaining satire of American culture. In short, the story begins as Tender Branson, the last surviving member of the Creedish religion/cult, tells his life story to a black box on a plane that's about to crash into the Australian outback. He tells of his childhood (or lack thereof), leaving the complex to become a virtual slave to a wealthy normal couple, the end of the Creedish people, and his forced inclusion into the mainstream as a religious icon. The novel is dark and funny, at times you may even felt guilty for laughing, but you'll enjoy it every step of the way.

Now, which of his novels should I take on next?

I want to sleeeeeeeeep.
I seriously just need to sleep. Then I'll be okay.
Seeing as how I have kickball tonight and darts playoffs tomorrow night, I don't see that happening in the near future.
In other news, football is stupid and hurtful, so I'm just gonna watch the Hornets from now on. I could be a basketball fan.
I'm so sad Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Island is over. Luckily there's another one already in production. But, but. Without my Kenny and Johnny Bananas? Meh.
(Not really meh, though, as I am ALL OVER that shit when it starts.)
Sleeeeeep.

The Pajibettes took over www.pajiba.com today. It was fantastic...all leading up to this work of art: http://www.pajiba.com/the-first-annual-dildoscara-awards.htm
Go read the site a lot.

There's nothing like being on page 20 of a book, and having to put it down for the 4th time because you can't stop balling...and the lady next to you keeps offering tissues, and you're trying to explain to her between sobs why you're crying and why you swear you're okay...because you're on an airplane.
If you're from New Orleans, DO NOT read this one in public. If you're not from New Orleans, I can't attest to how it will affect you in public. Either way, READ THIS BOOK.


Cannonball Read, Book 2

A Season of Night - Ian McNulty

Ian is a regular at the pub I frequent. I've spoken to him few times, but he was nice enough to let me pay for his book in layaway installments, so I'm all about supporting friends of friends.

Hurricane Katrina was 3 years ago. I remember saying over and over again for the first 2 years that I just wanted to go through one day, just one day, where I didn't think about it. No one would bring it up in conversation and nothing would remind me of it. Then one day it happened. Or rather, didn't happen. These days are few and far between, but they exist nonetheless, and whenever I realize they happened, there's another sigh of relief.
When Ike happened the first week of September, it made everyone realize that we still felt the loss and the stress of Katrina completely...most of us just covered it up with day-to-day routines. Before we started evacuating, some friends and I sat at Finn McCool's crying, talking about how we couldn't do it again. It was heartbreaking all over again.
The thing that most people don't realize is the part that actually affects us. We all either stayed in New Orleans to watch the city fall apart, or we watched it on televisions spread across the country. What most people don't realize is this isn't really where the pain comes from. Most of us were in shock...just as those who weren't from New Orleans, but I didn't even cry until a week later. I remember it completely, the first time I cried. Stephen Patterson, one of the owners of Finn's sent a text message (our only means of communicating with any of our friends) to Paul and I that talked about Finn's being underwater. That was the moment it hit me and I started crying...until I eventually cried myself to sleep. I'm babbling, I know this, but I have a point...

People have written books and memoirs about 'Katrina, the hurricane'. This is the first book that I've been aware of wherein 'Katrina, the aftermath' is the focus. It tells the story of Ian's love for New Orleans, his need to come home to it, and an attempted return to normalcy that none of us have completely reached. For me, it touched me so deeply because although I barely know Ian, after reading this book I'm actually embarrassed that he's told me so much of him and he knows so little of me. That's not quite true, though, because my Katrina story is written in between every line in his book. In reading the book, I found myself remembering every time I came back to New Orleans (before finally moving back the first week of January), every time I missed it.
The smell, oh god, the smell. Ian tries in many different ways to explain it, but I don't think there are words that can do it justice. After I returned from my Ike evacation, I came to my parents house to find their garage flooded. When I walked into it, the overwhelming "Katrina" smell, just hit me and I fell to the floor in tears.
And the trash...I remember the West End median being stacked with garbage, towering over the houses (or lack thereof) that lined the streets.

ANYWAY, I realize this is long, and in no way a review. Since I read the book yesterday, I've just been overwhelmed with all these memories and emotions, and I suppose I just needed to release them somehow. And what better way to do that than writing to an invisible someone on a blog no one reads, right? Right.

IN CONCLUSION, the city is not finished. When I woke up this morning in Seattle, it occured to me that I could keep sleeping as long as I wanted. There was no hammering or drilling or sawing outside. It was just quiet. It took me waking up to that to realize that we still hear it all the time. So all of you may have forgotten...hell it's been a couple of years, but it's still very much a part of our everyday life.

...And if another goddamn parent asks me about it while recruiting, I swear I'm gonna just punch...grrr...

Cannonball Read, Book 1

The Sirens of Titan - Kurt Vonnegut

I once dated a wonderful guy who adored Vonnegut. Seeing as how I'd never read a single one of his books, I decided to start. I read Cat's Cradle, Mother Night, and half of about 5 of his other books, but The Sirens of Titan was the one that really stuck with me...I considered it one of my favorite books, period. It occured to me recently that because it had been so long ago that I read them, I remembered very little about any of them...including a book that I still proclaim to be a favorite. Sooooo, I decided to start my Cannonball Read off with Vonnegut.
I've never thought of myself as a very good reviewer...mainly because I've never really tried to review anything. So rather than actually reviewing books, I'll just say a little about them and how they make me feel. It's possible that some of these reviews may actually just be "I liked it." or "This book sucked." but hey, whatever, it's my blog, bitches.

I'm so glad that I read this book again. I love it just as much as I did the first time I read it. It's the kind of book that makes the world a little happier. (See, told you I'm a shit reviewer...) Basically, Vonnegut uses the book to reduce the meaning of life down to a small simple message, but does so in a way that shows how expansive it is. I can't say anything that would justify how beautifully written this book is...so just read it if you haven't. Oooh, here's a quote!

"I was a victim of a series of accidents. As are we all." - Unk

Oh, and of course, because they have to ruin everything: http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1557119/20070413/story.jhtml
At least this guy seems to really care about the book...

I have no interest whatsoever in driving to Houston very late tonight, then driving a 2-hour traffic drive across stupid Houston in the morning AND Thursday morning just to have some bratty students ignore me because they have no interest in coming to a city that was flooded on the national news.

I think I would do better recruiting if I just gave out free booze. I'd go to any college that offered free booze.

Stupid work paying me stupid money to only work 4 hours in the next 3 days and spend the rest of the stupid time getting drunk with my stu--no, awesome cousin. Okay, maybe the job's not toooo stupid.

I keep meaning to liveblog the Real World/Road Rules challenges (because it's my favorite show in the entire world)...but it turns out I'm lazy and I mostly just watch them while playing Solitaire and going "Ohhhhh shit! That bitch is craaaazy!" the whole time. Maybe eventually.

HAHAHA...I went to google images to find a RW/RR challenge pic, and I came across this one to the left from The Gauntlet 3. I click on it, save it, then look down...and where did I find it? From one Mr. Dan Carlson @ Slowly Going Bald. Awesome.

blogging on blogspot. woohoo!
i'm thinking about starting Cannonball Read...
my new goals in life...read and write more. stop spending all my damn money.